I knew a girl and her name was Judy. She was a very good painter, especially of portraits, and ever so nice. This is another of those daft double sevens that I always complain about, but justified by the fact that a) it’s great, and b) there’s a spotty gold box to keep it, and all the others in.

Alas, b) raises a deep, difficult problem: do I only keep the Memphis Industries series of singles in it, or do I also trust it with the keep of my precious I Like a Boy in Uniform (School Uniform)? God, it’s “where to file PJ Harvey” all over again.

Oooh, difficult. Harsh noise. The b-side is pretty darned good though.

I only recently found Tilly and the Wall, and I’ve been hoovering up whatever of theirs I can find. I love the heaviness of the tap-danced rhythm contrasting with the light touch of the acoustic instruments. I also really like the girl singer, and think they look great. So, not off to a perfect start with just an electric guitar, the bloke singing, and a needless eff word. But wait - here’s the girl singing and the drums and it’s ACE! I think Tilly and the Wall have a sophistication, focus and confidence that sets them apart. I also think they don’t sound much like anybody else, and that’s what we want, isn’t it?

Cock. And balls.

Honestly, The Fratellis are better than this. At least they try.

Washing my dirty indie mouth out with refreshing indie soap. The Boyfriends have read the right books and listened to the right records. Whereas the previous two bands have heard the Arctic Monkeys on MySpace, The Boyfriends probably know what was SARAH 1, and proclaim every Morrissey album as “a real return to form”, The b-side, despite claiming to be something called Apathy in the UK, is a not-as-good-as-Tracy-Ullman’s cover of They Don’t Know. Speaking of which…

There are six billion people in the world, and none of them read this website. None at all. Honestly. If you are reading this, I don’t believe you. Check yourself. So, I can say what I like. I can decry organized religion, advocate cruelty, or review something from 1979 as if it were a new single. AND WHO’S GOING TO STOP ME?

Almost all my favourite Kirsty MacColl songs are covers, which is a testament to her skills of interpretation, not a criticism of her songwriting, which was also great. This one’s maybe kind of retro girl-group, but not. The words are so simple, warm and uplifting. If you don’t already know it, then I can’t explain how great this is. Just get it from somewhere, and your life will instantly be better. I promise, and this time I mean it. It’s one of my favourite records. Of all the records.