singles by choice
(albums when it's necessary)
17 April 2014
(listening through speakers)Avid Acutus
Funk F·XRII
Linn Kilmax DS (Renew)
TEAD Mastergroove
TEAD Vibe 1.5 / Pulse 2
TEAD Linear A
TEAD Model One

I’ve already done the previous two of these. The third and (hopefully) final 84-part installment comes on boring black vinyl, but does have a removable tattoo! Which, kids, is the only kind of tattoo you should get.

I already have recordings by a surprising number of the “artists” on here; Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh! seems to have moved a little away from the grindcore scene to the more, err, “cerebral” 31G and GSL acts. We’ve got Melt-Banana and The Locust for a start, both of whom are terrific bands.

The other “big hitters” are probably Agoraphobic Nosebleed and Bastard Noise, but I have high hopes for Pretentious Asshole, who will be delighting us with their charming F–k the Middle Classes, while Japanese Torture Comedy Hour perform I Ran Over Your Dog While It Was Taking a Shit (part 2) – I hope you don’t need to have heard part 1 – and Noothgrush will be doing Strawberry Shortcake and Friends Holding Hands and Going Around the Gazebo with Custard and Pupcake Watching. That is followed by a song called Feed on their Vomit, though it doesn’t specify if “they” are Strawberry Shortcake and Friends. I hope not. I really hope not.

In common with the other Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh! releases, there’s the odd good song shining like a sweetcorn in a turd. For instance, there’s a good one about halfway through side 1 (actually side 1000mph), though I’ve no idea what it is. Mostly it’s pretty one-dimensional. A couple of things are hilariously inept. Another good one comes along, followed by more aural slurry. The side closes with a sampled ansaphone message which adds little. They could have given Assspatula two more songs.

Side two now, and hang on, that was Melt-Banana. Maybe the labels are on the wrong sides. I have no clue. Yeah, someone just said “Hi we’re Slobber”, and Slobber are on side 1. Side 2 is side 1 and vice-versa. This side is definitely better.

Some kind of comedy Bohemian Rhapsody thing there. Excellent. Most of the songs on here are well under ten seconds. Many still manage to be hilarious. One has (possibly) a banjo. Aw, a duet! More ansaphone, this time somebody singing Good Vibrations. Total, brilliant, shit.

5

Souvlaki is a masterpiece, and I am not prepared to discuss that. Here’s the opener, stripped of all its Sonic Cathedralism, and guess what, it’s still a great song. His voice has changed over the years, losing that slightly nasal whine, gaining depth, richness, and the odd faux-Americana inflection. Still sounds great, and an interesting curio, but I’ll still take massed, processed banks of reverb-saturated guitars over the Harmonica any day. And he looks like a dreadful hipster on the promo photos I’ve seen.

Apparently Slowdive are back together. I’m never keen on that, and I don’t remember them being that good live the first time round, but there’s a part of me that would love to get what’s left of my hearing annihilated by Machine Gun.

3